I know that anybody who knows me is probably shocked by the title of this post. Heck, I have to admit to being a little shocked that I wrote that. But unfortunately, it is the truth. At least at this present moment. Will it be the truth in a week? Probably not, which is why it’s not as shocking as it might seem at first glance.
I tend to go through various waves of interest in regards to my various hobbies. Sometimes I’m really into reading and I don’t really care about video games. Sometimes it’s the other way around. Sometimes I’m not interested in either one of those things cause I’m too busy reading blogs or watching movies. I’m sure that sort of thing is perfectly normal for people with a number of different hobbies. Unfortunately I’m a neurotic and irrational individual, so nothing is ever as normal or as simple as it seems.
The problem is that when I’m in a phase where I’m not as interested in something, I decide that I’m never going to be interested in that thing again. There have actually been times when I’ve come close to selling all of my video games because I’ve been almost convinced that I’m never going to want to play video games again. In fact, although I’ve never sold ALL my video games before, I definitely have sold specific games and/or systems because I was convinced that I would never play them again. Later, I did want to play those games again, so of course I regretted those decisions.
I don’t know why I can’t just be okay with the fact that I’m not in the mood to play video games. After all, it’s not like those games are going anywhere. It’s not like video games expire if they sit on the shelf for too long. I just tend to feel a sense of urgency, like if I don’t play every game I own NOW then I won’t ever get a chance to play them in the future. I know. I’m irrational.
Maybe my sense of urgency stems from my childhood. My brother and I weren’t exactly easy on our video games when we were kids, and none of the games we had back then survived into my adulthood. Unfortunately a lot of those games were really good, and I would love to play them again. Several of them have been re-released and I now own them again, but there are many that haven’t been, and there’s no assurance that they ever will be.
I tend to worry that one or more of my consoles will break and I won’t be able to replace it. Of course, if my Xbox 360 dies tomorrow, it’s still under warranty, so I could get it replaced for free. But what happens if it dies 10 years from now, when something bigger and better has come out, and I can’t just buy a new one?
These are the sorts of things I worry about. Never mind that I could very well be dead in 10 years. (Which is not to say that I think I will be dead in 10 years. I’m just saying, death could come at any time. I could die tomorrow, in fact, and then all of my petty worries would be moot.) I still feel the need to worry about silly things like this. Once again, the lesson here is to just stop worrying and trust God. But if I was good at doing that, I wouldn’t have anything to whine about in my blog. And that, my friends, would be a tragedy.
I’m kidding, of course. Obviously I want to be able to just trust God and not have to worry so much about petty things. Of course, since I’m a sinful and flawed human, this is difficult to do. I know that someday I will be made perfect. But it can be hard to remember that when I’m busy worrying about whether or not I’m going to finish all of my video games before I die or whatever.
I’ve pretty much decided at this point that I need to more or less stop buying video games. Obviously I can’t stop entirely, because there’s always going to be awesome new games that come out. But I definitely need to cut WAY back. I don’t have any idea how many games I bought last year, but I imagine it was at least a couple of dozen. That’s insane. If I keep that pace up, there’s no way I’m going to get through all of the games I own. Especially when I tend to prefer games that take like 50 hours or so to beat.
But even if I did stop buying games entirely, I still have well over 100 games. And although I’ve probably beaten over half of them, that still leaves almost half that I still need to beat. And considering I don’t have a ton of time to play games thanks to my parental responsibilities, I figure it’s going to be a year or two before I get through all the games I currently own.
I may very well decide not to buy any more games until I’ve beaten all the games I own, though. The more I think about it, the more I realize that that’s actually a great idea. It would save me money. I wouldn’t have to worry about being overwhelmed with more games than I can possibly play. And I would eventually be able to get through this giant backlog of games that I have.
The problem is that it’s easy for me to say this now, when I have no money and there are no games on my wish list. What’s going to happen when my birthday rolls around and suddenly I have money and there are a bunch of new games that I want? Hard to say, but that will definitely be a test of my willpower. In any case, I think I’ll wait, and worry about that when the time comes.